For me, feeling good can sometimes come in phases. One day I’m buzzing, and the next I could be seriously lacking my luster. Feeling good can be seasonal like that.
I began this feature on my blog “Date Yourself” to try and encourage people to think differently about the notion of me time. Let’s face it, usually it conjures up the image of lounging around like a lazy lump in front of some show on Netflix, or some other form of vegetating. Now, think about every time you’ve been so frustrated with friends or family or your boyfriend or girlfriend because you want to do something fun, and they don’t…
So I say, be your own friend! I kinda go into some more detail about all that in my blog post What Have You Learned About Yourself in the Past 4 Months?
In the media, we’re finally gaining traction in terms of looking after your mental health and there are SO many tips out there in terms of self-love. Down-time, reflection and meditation can all be attributed to these online self-help guides, and while that’s fantastic, I believe sometimes trying to forget the heavy stuff and enjoy this idle “me-time” can be hard! Getting up, getting active and going out are the mantras that invigorate me. It’s really rewarding to have done something productive with your day! And it’s life-changing to begin doing the things you love or want to do, all by yourself.
Having a healthy relationship with yourself is like any other in your life – you need to blend the fun stuff with the tough stuff. Take yourself to the cinema to see that movie you’ve dying to go to (I did this yesterday – Incredibles 2 is a m a z i n g ) and then take some time to dig a lil deeper later on. Bring yourself out for breakfast or a coffee and take a notebook along to record your thoughts.
It might take a while to get comfortable doing that kinda thing – 2 years ago the thought of leaving my apartment to do something by myself was really scary and I actually believed I’d faint and/or die no matter where I was if it was a public space (it never happened lol). This was a little complex I’d built up over the course of some months, which was incredibly inhibiting because I’d always been an independent person. I knew something had to change, so gradually I began getting out there.
I’d go to the park in France a couple minutes walk from where I lived. The next week, I’d go to the shops. It was very uncomfortable and my erratic breathing was always on my mind, but I struggled on. Then, on a whim I decided to go to Chicago for a summer with my best friend, which was the push I needed! Navigating a new city calls for confidence and autonomy abound.
At first,it was like I leaving little trails of breadcrumbs and each week the trail would stretch further and further away from my comfort zone. 2 years on, I’m genuinely so happy I made those weary efforts because now the person that I am is someone I’m happy to hang out with, alone or in a crowd.
I know being anxious makes it really hard to “get out there”, but if you want to do something and you know that it’s something good for you that you care about, you have to try. Jordan Peterson in a Jungian fashion calls for people to “integrate your shadow”. That’s important. But when you’re down it’s so important to try stay with the things that spark you, do what you love and what you need to do for yourself. I say, it’s imperative to integrate your light.
Oh GOODNESS Graceious 
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